May 24, 2019

The Truth About Long Term Relationships

Today I want to talk about relationships. That is, the truth about relationships. Now I'm no expert on the matter but being in a happy, healthy, 12 + year relationship- I like to pretend I know a thing or two.

Let's get on with it, shall we.
1) In the beginning, you will have butterflies constantly. 
Making eye contact, talking to them on the phone, an accidental (or not) brushing of your arms, legs, anything- will make you feel like a million butterflies are dancing in your belly. It's the greatest feeling in the world.

2) The butterflies (unfortunately) do stop.
Those beautiful butterflies will eventually turn into old moths that just kind of hang out in your attic with the occasional flutter every now and then. Don't worry. This doesn't mean that you aren't in love or attracted to your partner anymore. It just means that you are now used to them. Their touches and kisses have just become familiar.

3) The lovey-dovey stuff ends - for the most part.
I'm not saying all of your romance dies after a while, but it does become less frequent. In the beginning of a relationship, you can't help but make every moment, every gesture, feel like it came straight out of a romance novel. Its new love! That's how its supposed to feel.
Dates, getting flowers, love letters- they all still happen, but it takes a conscious effort in making sure you DO all of those things. You just become comfortable and sometimes -to put it bluntly- a little lazy.

4) You partner WILL become your best friend.
I know, how cheesy. You probably think those people are annoying who say their boyfriend/girlfriend is their best friend. But its true. You spend so much time with them -especially if you live together- that they end up knowing you better than you know yourself. They know your favorite things, what makes you happy and how to push all of your buttons to annoy you. Eventually you just can't imagine life without them.

5) You will reach the "make it or break it" moment.
Once you reach a certain point in your relationship, lets say around the 5 year mark, you are going to question yourself. Does this person still make me happy? Are we fighting more than not? Can I see myself starting a family and growing old with them? And usually this moment sneaks up on you without even realizing it. The best thing to do is take a little time apart and re-evaluate everything. You'll be happy you did. It usually ends up being nothing. If you know you're in it for the long haul, you'll probably realize you guys were just stuck in a rut and you'll be more than grateful for giving yourselves time apart so you can see how much you truly love each other.

So, the ultimate truth about long term relationships is that they are hard work. 
You will fight, you will question, your partner will continuously surprise you and you will love more deeply than you've ever thought possible.

Remember, nothing worth having comes easy.


  1. I completely agree with you about your partner eventually becoming your best friend; it's a lovely unspoken benefit of being in a long term relationship! :) x

  2. Nice post, Renee! I like how you recognize the inevitable diminishment of those butterflies. Those butterflies are often accompanied by seeing our partners as otherworldly. When they dissipate, that seems to be the breaking point for many couples; where all those questions, you mentioned, tend to begin. However, if we can re-frame this moment as an opportunity to love our partners for the human beings that they are, I think our relationships would be much better off. We finally can see and love each other for a more accurate representation of who we truly are. What a great opportunity.
    Thank you for sharing!

    Mind and Love

    1. Thank you! I agree, the loss of "butterflies" often make a person think they aren't "as" in love as they used to be. Thanks for reading :)

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